GROWING THROUGH GRIEF: Loving yourself through the tough times
By Angela Clement
There are times when I would rather be miserable. It’s like sometimes misery just feels right. lol! Yup I just wrote that. Sometimes it seems there is nothing that could take me out of my misery and I don’t want it to. I don’t think this is the way to live but I have noticed this about myself from time to time and I don’t think I’m alone in it. I think more people feel this way than care to admit. So if you can relate, hear me out.
I do consider myself a pretty positive person overall. I have been through challenge and it seems I have always found a way to the other side of it. I rally when things get tough and I can find the bright side of any story. Yet when life gets me down sometimes it’s a deep hole and the thought of crawling myself out just seems too much. In fact someone could be reaching their hand out and I would consider not taking it. It’s a tough place to be.
So what is this? Well I think it’s just wanting to be seen and heard. It’s like here I am. Do you see me? All of me? I’m suffering and I am sacrificing and no one gets it. I don’t have any idea how I could explain it either. We can wish and hope but actually people aren’t going to get it if they aren’t living it. They are going to tell you to stay more positive, get over it, move on. They will make suggestions about what you should do. Eat right, get your sleep, say positive affirmations. Not that these are bad suggestions but sometimes it can seem just too difficult to do when you are in this state. And worse, some will just abandon you completely. It can be a really lonely space. Even when you are with someone who loves you dearly you can feel alone.
Moving out of this space isn’t easy but it’s possible and so worth it. It comes from loving yourself, being patient with yourself and giving yourself grace. It comes from taking steps to be there for you the way no one else can. It’s about taking control of your own life and finding the things you love to do and expressing all those thoughts, feelings and emotions through those outlets. That might mean walking and connecting with nature, painting, drawing, dancing, exercising, cooking. These are often things we loved to do as kids. The pain you feel can be transformed through those outlets. It takes time. Do something little that you love every day. Find something that can make you smile even for a brief moment and know that you are not alone.
Don’t be afraid to share how you feel with those above and beyond who are listening and see all of you for who you are. Only they truly know what you have been through and what you are going through. They hear you and they are guiding you. Be open to that guidance. It may take some time but rest assured it will come and you are heard.
Stay open to magical things that are just around the corner. We never know what kind of surprise awaits us. Don’t try to imagine how it will happen. Just feel into what it will be like when it does. This is manifesting and it is so powerful. You got this! You were made for hard things and this too shall pass. Take care of you! Joy is on the other side. Lots of love, Angela.