Penton: Lousy prognosticator picks U.S. to win hockey gold
By Bruce Penton
Canada’s men’s Olympic hockey team begins its quest for gold Feb. 12 vs. Czechia and, of course, this calls for a bold prediction: Canada will not win gold.
Now, before you go talking to government officials to get me kicked out of the country or to have my citizenship revoked, an explanation is required: In my career as a prognosticator of sporting events, my record is horrendous. I believe it’s 3-672 over the years, which means I’m wrong 99.555 per cent of the time. If I were to be so bold as to pick Canada to win, and they lost, the blame would fall squarely on my shoulders and, deep down, I want nothing more than for Canada’s best to stick it to the rest of world, especially those loud-mouth Americans who were vanquished in last winter’s 4 Nations Face Off.
If things go as Vegas oddsmakers would have you believe, it will be Canada vs. the U.S. in the gold medal game at the Milano Santagiulia Ice Hockey Arena on Sunday, Feb. 22.
The U.S. team is favoured in many quarters primarily because its three goalies — Connor Hellebuyck, Jake Oettinger and Jeremy Swayman — are considered vastly superior to Canada’s troika of Jordan Binnington, Logan Thompson and Darcy Kuemper. But Binnington, whose stats this season with the woeful St. Louis Blues are enough to scare any Canadian hockey fan, pushed his ‘sensational’ button and combined it with his ‘spectacular’ switch last year and stopped the U.S. cold in the 4 Nations clinching game. Connor McDavid, the best player in the world, did the rest, potting the overtime goal on a pretty setup by Mitch Marner.
Those two will be back, along with Nathan MacKinnon and Sidney Crosby, two Tim Hortons commercial stars who also play a little hockey.
It’s not a stretch to say the two North American hockey powers are fairly equal in strength. But Canada has history on its side — three out of the last four gold medals when NHL players were involved in the 21st century.
The Mario Lemiuex-Steve Yzerman-Jarome Iginla-led team won in Salt Lake City in 2002; Crosby’s golden goal in 2010 in Vancouver will never be forgotten and the 2014 gold-medal game victory over Sweden confirmed Canada’s power in the game of ice hockey.
But while players from Sweden, Finland, Switzerland, Germany and other European countries dot NHL rosters, the main hockey powers remain Canada and the U.S. Most of the players on the American roster are from northern U.S. states — Minnesota, Michigan, Montana — where the winters are so similar to Canada’s that those players are de facto Canucks. Jack Hughes, Auston Matthews, Jack Eichel, the Tkachuks and Clayton Keller, for instance, are players Canada would love to have on its roster. They can play, but will they have that Canadian-like je ne sais quoi it takes to win gold?
Probably. The Americans will win. (Wink, wink).
Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun: “The CFL, as a league, produced record revenues in 2025, $10 million more than ever before. The Blue Jays, as a team, did about $100 million more than budgeted for in the 2025 season.”
Cathal Kelly of the Globe and Mail, on the Leafs’ playoff chancers: “Turn off the oven. Pull the Leafs out, put them on a countertop and tent them with tin foil. This team is cooked.”
Comedy writer Torben Rolfsen of Vancouver: “Quinn Hughes said the Minnesota Wild are a better hockey team than the Canucks. The Wild then put a ‘CO’ on his jersey —Captain Obvious.”
Rolfsen again: “Bills’ owner Terry Pegula threw wide receiver Keon Coleman under the bus at a recent press conference. Fortunately for Coleman, the Bills’ bus is currently stuck in a snowdrift.”
Norman Chad again, after Denver bypassed a field-goal opportunity to go up by 10 in the AFC title game and failed on its fourth-down attempt: “What's wrong with a 10-0 lead in what is going to be a defensive game in deteriorating weather conditions playing with a quarterback who has not thrown a pass since Kirk Cousins had hair.”
Greg Cote of the Miami Herald: “Bill Belichick is not perfect. Spygate happened. But when six Super Bowl wins isn’t enough for the Hall of Fame, the shame is on the voters and the Hall.”
Super 70s Sports: “Cooper Flagg sets a new record by scoring 49 points in an NBA game as a 19-year-old. If you liked that, just wait till next week when some dude will probably set a new record by becoming the first 49-year-old to score 19 in an NCAA game.”
Super 70s Sports again, alongside a photo of O.J. Simpson at his trial, on Bill Belichick’s Hall of Fame snub: “I’m just glad this man doesn’t have to share the Hall of Fame with Spygate guy.”
RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: “With the Jets losing 4-1 to the Lightning, I'll spare them the electrical puns — like lacking a spark, feeling re-volted or Tampa being amped up. I will say this: Watt happened?”
Headline at fark.com: “Todd Monken loses game of hot potato, forced to coach Cleveland Browns next season.”
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca