Growing Through Grief: The Sacred Pause
By Angela Clement
The holiday season is upon us once again. One season ends and a new one begins. Ready or not, here it comes! Christmas can bring about strong emotions when we are in the process of grief. The mind often will take us back to memories of the way things were and at the same time it tries to figure out what the future will look like. It’s all a part of the mind’s job to keep us safe by constantly analyzing the past as a way to try to predict the future to help us navigate our present situation as safely as possible. We can get into a cycle of repeating thoughts like this that will keep us stuck either reminiscing about the past or fearing our future. These thoughts cycling incessantly in the mind can cause us considerable suffering. The pain of losing someone in life is inevitable, but believe it or not, suffering is optional. What if we could break the cycle of these thoughts that are creating the suffering, even for a moment, so we can catch our breath? What if for a while we were okay with just being in the NOW?
The last little while I have been hearing about something called the sacred pause. It’s the perfect time when a chapter in our lives is ending and a new one is emerging. It is time to make a conscious effort to put ourselves in the present moment. When we are in this sacred space, we can choose to purposely take some time to show ourselves great respect and reverence and to look after ourselves just like we would our best friend. If we get quiet and give ourselves grace, we can cultivate in ourselves a profound respect for our own intrinsic worth and existence. Instead of trying to fix, we get curious and learn to willingly accept ourselves the way we are. We stop any harsh criticism with great compassion. We take time to appreciate where we are, all we have and learn to appreciate the wisdom we have gained through our past experiences. In this sacred pause, we are safe and we are okay. Rather than compare ourselves to others, we start to nurture ourselves by recognizing our own unique qualities, gifts and strengths.
The sacred pause is a natural place of healing. It is a space where the task at hand is only to become the blank page and to ask and then allow the universe to help write your next story. Meet the worry, anxiety, fear and regret with a childlike wonder and curiosity - the kind you felt at Christmas when you were a kid. You have come so far and gained so much wisdom and experience over the years. You can be so proud. Ask yourself, how do I want to feel going forward? How may I apply what I have learned? Time keeps moving no matter what, so the only time that we truly have control over is now.
Now is where the next chapter is written. Now is where you make the decisions that are right for you. Now is the time for a sacred pause. What a beautiful Christmas gift to give ourselves! Take some time in the present to breathe and let everything chaotic fall away. Take time to just be. Maybe play your favourite music and relish in the beauty of the melodies. Enjoy a cup of hot cocoa. Put up some soft lights and bask in their glow. Sit by the warm fireplace. You deserve this and so much more! Relish in your own sacred pause and remind yourself what brings you joy. Then find a way to spread that joy and love to others as you go through the holiday season. Merry Christmas friends! Big hugs and lots of love to you all.